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Imparted Wisdom Blog

Personal Growth and Development

Holding self accountable after a breakup…
September 25, 2017/ By: Erin Mixon

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What is the secret to healing from a break up?

Holding self accountable…


This blog post is all about how to learn from your past relationship mistakes by taking personal accountability.


As I’m sure most of you all know, relationships are not necessarily easy.

When you think about the task of merging two lives from two different backgrounds, life experiences, and upbringings…

It’s a wonder that any marriage or relationship survives…lol.


Likewise, taking personal accountability in a relationship is not the easiest road to navigate…


But it is imperative when attempting to heal and move forward….


Lately, I’ve been feeling the nudge to reflect back on my last relationship…

Keep in mind I was much younger at the time, and no doubt, had a lot to learn.


When the relationship ended…

You could not have told me that all the reasons for the breakup didn’t lead back to one common denominatorHim!!


Being older now and having the insight of many years of self-reflection…

I can see this is not entirely true (by a long shot, actually).


I too was a major contributing factor to the downfall of the relationship–and just as much to blame. 🙁

Here’s what I learned from my past relationship and how you can learn from your past relationship too…

Tips on holding yourself accountable after a breakup:

Lifting the Weight

This fresh insight is nothing to sneeze at, and be rest assured, it didn’t come over night…

It took many years of working on myself and digging through and working on my “stuff” to see this revelation brought to light…

But when it finally came forth…this new, more insightful perspective was a cleansing and a relief to my spirit.

It helped me to let go of so much of the emotional baggage that I carried…

Which held me back from breaking through to a higher state of being and evolving.


The silhouette of a man and woman staring at each other trying to hold self accountable.
Healing from a break up stars with holding self accountable.

Personal Accountability/Holding Self Accountable

I realized that I would never be able to move on to another, more whole, more suitable relationship until I began to take personal accountability for the part I played in the downfall of the last one.

Not only would I not be able to move on, but I would not have shown myself to be worthy of more.

Rather than focusing on what I perceived to be all his mistakes and shortcomings…

I had to own up to my part in it all.

I’ve come to know that this is a key part in the healing process of every past failed relationship (and not just romantic).

But not only is it a key part of the healing process…

It is a key part of the growth process for you to evolve as a full human being.

Doing the Work

If you’ve recently ended a relationship and feel as though you took absolutely no part in the downfall, I can assure you that you’re wrong.

In fact, the more foreign this concept sounds is likely an indication of the depth of work and introspection that needs to be explored on your part.

I encourage you to take stock of the factors you may be overlooking and to get about the business of personal accountability and  doing the work.

Remember, if you don’t learn from your past, you are destined to repeat it.


Comment below and let me know your thoughts on taking personal accountability and holding self accountable after a breakup…


Click here to read part 2


Related video:

Click here for a related video by relationship expert Stephan Speaks



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